AIB : Honest Indian Weddings (Part 2) - Key

AIB : Honest Indian Weddings (Part 2)


Who are you, kid?
I come free with the horse
They only made us wait 6 hours, they really do respect us
Baseless rumour that the groom is gay
Hi! I am cousin of bride.
Hey, I am token white dude!
So what do you think of celebrations?
You are white, your opinion matters the most
Oh my god! Generic bullshit about culture & colours and naan bread
I am totally judging you guys
Let's cuss in Hindi so that he doesn't understand
I know when you switch to Hindi you guys are bitching me out
Tell me something, in America, everyone is divorced, no?
I haven't bitched for 3 minutes so i am thinking lets find faults in the rituals
Shit! I forgot to wrap the Diwali gifts and use them here!
Check it on Snapdeal dude
Good idea
Sponsorship - Have to do it
Subtle!
What do you have in cholesterol?
Sir, this is veg in orange gravy
Non veg in orange gravy
Some other shit in orange gravy
Orange gravy returns
The revenge of the orange gravy
Keep it up orange gravy
Rice
And Muslim rice
Is there something in diabetes?
Sir, budget wedding, so only vanilla ice-cream
Isn't it, kiddo?
Fatty, it's you again?
If I want to bitch about the food
Then I need at least eight servings!
Isn't it, aunty?
Son i am just awaiting death
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Generic question like-"Did you have dinner?"
Not at all, not at all
Actually, I have to go for another wedding as well
Heard their catering is much better
Okay, lets click this picture fast!
Otherwise deserts will be eaten there
Sweet! Sweet!
Welcome
Welcome
She's our NRI aunty, we are jealous of her wealth
This is complete $11
Keep it in fixed deposit
Yeah, die bitch
Awww! Awkward!
I know, I know
Hi, I am the ex-boyfriend
Pretending to be secure but crying from inside
Haha, I called him randomly but he really came, ass!
Hahaha
I still touch myself while looking at your pictures
We are definitely going to fight over this
You are a lucky man
Take care of that booty
Hello! Hello!
Poonam, this my boss
Now, even you'll have to suck up to him
Hahaha! You are fired
Sir, does your wife know about Bangkok?
Hahaha! You are promoted
You're so lucky you are gay
Congratulations
I have no clue who this guy is
I can't feel my face anymore
You just smoked a joint, haven't you?
Okay, now time for pictures for show off in the social media
Sir, stinking mouth
Ma'am, sir's is stinking
He had onion, a lot
Even garlic
Extra stink, you are feeling shy because of the stink
Sir, drop the smell, sir
Toothpaste is dying, lovely
Bro, do you even brush?
Okay, we got the shy pose
Sir, you are Vikram
Ma'am is Betaal
Sir, you are farmer
Ma'am is wheat sack
You are student
Ma'am is tuition bag
Tuition bag has Tell Me Why
Even RD Sharma
And also Yellow Pages for no reason
You are going to tuition
Tuition came
Don't throw the bag
Bag will get hurt
Don't throw the bag
Great photo, lovely photo
Ma'am, touch sir's man boobs
From behind, ma'am
<img src='https://i.ytimg.com/vi/O9bv6U6EDak/mqdefault.jpg'>
From behind
Tenderly
Yes, look happy, sir
This is the first this has happened to you
Tender nipple
Cripple the nipple
Innocent areola
Tickle his chesticle
Okay, sir, sexy pose
Okay, sir, never sexy from you
You won't be able to do it
Back huggin pose done
Very good, moving on
Now lame Titanic pose
Leenadro and Katie
Leenadro and Katie
Titanics!
Sir, Leenadro is behind, sir
Leenadro always at back, Katie in front
The ship is sinking, sir
Drown in passion, not in iceberg
Drawn in passion, sir
Celine Dion
Celine Dion
Your heart will go on
Such cute
Much wow
Amaze
Doge love
130
00:05:44,500--> 00:05:45,000
Lift her up
I know you're scared, sir
Have protein shake, what the fuck bro?
With full power-hernia!
Let's have hernia!
Lovely, sir, smile through the pain
Okay, drop the potato
Drop the potato
Drop the wife
You don't care about her, lovely wedding
Very nice, full pretentious, lovely
Back touching pose
WWE
Trump Card
WWE Tatanka Papa Shanko WWE
Sexy WWE
Smile for Vince McMahon
You'll have WWE tonight!
Sir will show his Big Show
Big show
Lovely photo, several likes
Commode seat pose
Western toilet
Madam, first lift the seat
Very hygenic, very good
Now sit, enjoy it, sir
As it is she is going to shit on you forever
Very good, flush him
Flush him like the turd he is
Turd like creature
Sexy turd
Ladyfinger turd
Drip down mucus from nose
Lovely
I don't want to cry
But if I don't then people will judge, no, mumma?
Don't cry, your make up is worth 25 grand, will get wasted
Now you'll force me to be a mother
I am going to see a strange man naked tonight
I don't want to go, papa
These are happy tears, fool
I'll use your room as study
No, papa
Yes, my girl
No, papa, no
Yes, my girl, yes
No, papa, no
Yes, my girl, yes
No, papa, no
Yes, my girl, yes
Hey, look at me, please don't cry
Papa will keep coming
He still has to pay four instalments of dowry
Honestly!
Look, the OLA cab has come
Let's go
Trouble over!


Key & Peele - Gay Wedding Advice


- WELCOME, JOHNSON FAMILY.
NOW, WE ALL KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE.
COUSIN DELROY'S
GETTING MARRIED...
all: MM-HMM.
- TO A MAN.
WHICH IS CRAZY.
- MM-HMM.
- AND WE'RE IN SUPPORT, AND, UH,
WE JUST NEED A LITTLE HELP
WITH THE PARTICULARS
OF A GAY WEDDING.
WHAT I'VE DONE
IS I TOOK THE INITIATIVE
TO GET MY FRIEND GARY IN HERE,
WHO'S--I MEAN,
HE'S NOT REALLY MY FRIEND.
HE'S A COWORKER OF MINE
WHO HAPPENS
TO BE A ACTIVE MEMBER
OF THE HOMOSEXUAL COMMUNITY,
AND HE'S GONNA GIVE US
SOME ADVICE ON,
YOU KNOW, WHA--WHAT TO DO.
SO, GARY, WHA--WHAT CAN--
WHAT CAN WE EXPECT?
- ALL RIGHT.
WELL, FIRST OF ALL, GUYS,
THANKS SO MUCH
FOR HAVING ME HERE,
AND I THINK IT'S REALLY AMAZING
WHAT YOU GUYS ARE DOING
FOR YOUR COUSIN DELROY.
REALLY, I JUST WANTED TO SAY,
BASICALLY, THAT A GAY WEDDING
IS JUST LIKE A STRAIGHT WEDDING.
YES? YES, SIR.
- SO THEN DO THE MEN
WEAR DRESSES AND THEN
THE WOMEN WOULD WEAR SUITS?
- NO.
NO, NO, NO.
YOU WOULD JUST WHERE
EXACTLY WHAT YOU WOULD WEAR
AT A--AT A STRAIGHT WEDDING.
- NOW, NONE OF US ARE GAY,
SO I ASSUME
THAT WE WOULD ALL SIT
THEN IN THE STRAIGHT SECTION.
- THE STRAIGHT SECTION?
- YEAH.
- OH, THE STRAIGHT SECTION.
HE MEANS AS OPPOSED
TO THE GAY SECTION.
- NO, NO, THERE'S--THERE'S--
THERE'S NO SECTIONS, GUYS.
- BUT THE GAY PEOPLE...
- NO, NO, NO.
WHAT--YOU WOULD JUST SIT--
- AND THEN THE STRAIGHT?
- NO, LARRY, LARRY, LISTEN TO ME
JUST FOR A SECOND.
- BUT THEN THE AISLE.
- YOU WOULD JUST--
YOU WOULD JUST SIT
ON THE SIDE OF THE PERSON
THAT WERE FRIENDS WITH
OR THAT YOUR FAMILY'S MEMBERS,
JUST LIKE IN A STRAIGHT WEDDING.
- SO WE JUST GUESS WHO'S GAY.
- OR NOT.
YOU COULD JUST--YEAH.
- WE'LL GUESS WHO'S GAY.
- OKAY.
GUESS WHO--
- WHEN IN THE CEREMONY
DO WE SING
OVER THE RAINBOW?
- WELL, YOU DON'T.
YOU DON'T.
THIS IS A RELIGIOUS CEREMONY,
SO YOU--
YOU WOULDN'T BE SINGING THAT
DURING THE SERVICE.
- OH, ALL RIGHT.
- YOU DONE WITH THE QUESTIONS?
- NO, I'M JUST ASKING.
- I'M NERVOUS 'CAUSE
I CAN ONLY DO JAZZ HANDS
FOR ABOUT THREE MINUTES 'FORE
MY HANDS START TO CRAMP.
- OH, SIR, I DON'T THINK
ANYONE'S GONNA EXPECT YOU--
I DON'T THINK ANY--
I DON'T THINK ANYONE'S GONNA
EXPECT YOU TO HAVE
TO DO JAZZ HANDS.
- NOW CAN WE SEE THE PONY SHOW
FROM THE STRAIGHT SECTION?
OR ARE WE WAY
IN THE BACK SOMEWHERE?
- MA'AM, AGAIN,
THERE'S NO STRAIGHT SECTION.
WHAT IS A PONY SHOW?
- YOU KNOW,
WHEN Y'ALL GO LIKE THIS.
- NO, THERE WON'T BE--
THERE WON'T BE ANY OF THIS
DURING THE CEREMONY.
- OH. OH.
- WHEN DO WE SING
YMCA?
- OH.
- SIR, NOT DURING THE CEREMONY.
- OKAY.
- WHAT ABOUT
MACHO, MACHO
MAN?
- NO.
- I DON'T KNOW
WHERE TO BUY NO GAY PRESENTS.
- WELL, I-I DON'T KNOW
WHAT A GAY PRESENT IS.
USUALLY, WHAT COUPLES
DO IS THEY JUST--
THEY JUST REGISTER AT A STORE...
- HUH.
- LIKE A STRAIGHT COUPLE WOULD.
- THE GAY STORE, OR--
- JUST A REGULAR STORE.
- WHERE DO YOU GET THE EUROS
TO BUY GAY GIFTS?
- ARE YOU SAYING EUROS?
YOU WOULDN'T--
YOU WOULDN'T USE EUROS.
- NO, IT'S--IT'S--
IT'S A GOOD QUESTION, FINNEY.
WE--WE SHOULD MAKE
SOME EYE CONTACT
SO WE MAKE SURE THAT
THE COMMUNICATION'S HAPPENING.
- YEAH.
- I THINK HE WANTS TO KNOW
IS IT, LIKE, A--YOU KNOW,
A DIFFERENT CURRENCY?
OR IS IT MORE LIKE CAMEL CASH?
- NOPE, JUST GOOD, OLD-FASHIONED
U.S. DOLLARS, YEP.
- DO WE HAVE TO PARTICIPATE
IN THE ANAL SEX?
- OH!
- OR CAN WE JUST WATCH
AND CHEER IN A FIREMEN'S HAT?
<img src='https://i.ytimg.com/vi/rtgY1q0J_TQ/mqdefault.jpg'>
- NO, THERE'S NO ANAL SEX
AND NO FIREMAN'S HAT.
- OH, OKAY.
- IT'S CUNNILINGUS.
- IS THAT A QUESTION, SIR?
- WHEN DO WE GET TO SING

IT'S RAINING MEN,
HALLELUJAH, IT'S RAININGMEN?

- YOU DON'T.
- SO THERE'S NO GAY HYMNS
IN THE CEREMONY?
- SIR, THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS A GAY HYMN.
- WHAT?
- WELL, DOES THE FAKE PRIEST
LOOK LIKE A REAL PRIEST
OR LIKE A NUN?
- IT'S GONNA BE A REAL PRIEST.
- OR...
- NO, THERE'S NO &quot;OR.&quot;
- IS IT A SEXY BOAT CAPTAIN,
THEN HE TAKES HIS CLOTHES OFF?
all: OHH.
- WHAT? NO. NO.
- DO WE THROW SOMETHING
OTHER THAN RICE?
- LIKE WHAT, SIR?
WHAT WOULD YOU THROW
OTHER THAN RICE?
- I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW.
COUSCOUS.
SKITTLES.
- GUYS, A GAY WEDDING IS JUST
LIKE A STRAIGHT WEDDING, OKAY?
IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME.
- WELL, WHEN THEY KISS, IS IT
OKAY TO STAND UP AND SAY, &quot;EW&quot;?
- NO, IT'S NOT BECAUSE IT WOULD
BE--THAT WOULD BE HOMOPHOBIC.
- THIS FROM THE MAN
WHO WON'T ALLOW GAY HYMNS
AT THE GAY WEDDING.
- OKAY, BUT LIKE
A INVOLUNTARY GASP.
- I WOULD JUST, I GUESS,
TRY TO CURB THAT BEHAVIOR.
- OKAY.
I'LL--I'LL LOOK AWAY THEN.
- OH, MY GOD.
- NOW, IS RUPAUL GONNA BE THERE?
- NO, I DON'T THINK
DELROY KNOWS RUPAUL.
- UH, NEIL PATRICK HARRIS?
- NO.
- OOH, DOOGIE.
- WHAT IF YOU DON'T WANT
YOUR PICTURE ON THE INTERNET?
- THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
- EXCUSE ME, GARY.
&quot;RIDICULOUS.&quot;
IS THAT A GAY TERM?
- OKAY, YEP.
I'LL SHOW MYSELF OUT.
- OH, HE'S A LITTLE TESTY,
ISN'T HE?
- NAH, HE CAN GO.
- GOOD LUCK.
- WE JUST TRYING TO FIND OUT
HOW IT GO.
- LET'S GO, STEFAN.
- I THINK WE PRETTY MUCH GOT IT.